Surgery, moving, and other stressful things

Today I was suddenly faced with the fact that I have several stressful life events right around the corner.  I've been so busy up until 8 p.m. tonight to even notice that a lot of change is upon me. I'm having surgery on both legs on Monday, leaving me off work for two weeks and on crutches for six, I'm moving to a new state on June 3rd, and I'm looking for a new job. Eek!

It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that I will be on bed rest for two weeks with not much to do besides read books, watch movies, and twiddle my thumbs. Okay, I exaggerate. I do love watching movies and reading books, but not when that is practically the only thing I am able to do.  Once off painkillers, though, I will be working remotely and applying for jobs in earnest. But I am still not looking forward to the hours of being reclined. 

I went to yoga tonight to try and clear my mind, and I dedicated my practice to being mindful of and grateful for a body that bends, moves, and feels strong. Even though I am not perfect, I am so thankful of what I do have. Soon I will not have the capability to move about as freely as I am used to, so I will focus on cherishing these last couple days of mobility and be appreciative of all the great things in my life. 

Brave

I will start with a song: “Brave” by Sara Bareilles.

I was listening to this song in the car after dropping my mom off at the airport; the conclusion of a lovely long weekend in Seattle.

Sara began singing,

Say what you wanna  say / and let the words fall out / Honestly / I wanna see you be brave

I was suddenly overwhelmed with all the emotions that have been flooding my mind the last month plus the pain of saying goodbye, and burst into tears.

Let me lay the scene:

My boyfriend, Preston, learned he got into medical school in Denver, Colorado mid-January. Yay! But also, what’s next?

I made the decision to go with him, leave my job at my alma mater, and move to a place that will be entirely new to me. Queue the panic.

I’m very excited to move somewhere new and to do something new, but change terrifies me. Well, more the process of making the change happen is what terrifies me. I need to find a new place to live, a new job, new friends, find a new doctor, a new bank… the list goes on and on. And that is just one half of it. Before I go, I need to pack  up my things, sell my car, change my address, cancel my internet, cancel my gym membership, and so on.

I tend to think about all these tasks at once, get overwhelmed, and freak out.

The biggest cause of my panic, though, is the job category. I currently work in Human Resources and have a wonderful team and work environment. I will be sad to leave, but am ready to try something new. That being said, I have no idea what that “something new” will be. I know that I’ll be able to find a job, but I want to find something that is challenging and different.

I also have this secret dream inside that is so secret I can barely even tell myself. I find the first and easiest reaction is to tell myself, “no,” to let fear take over, and to shut down before I even start. I don’t want to do that with this move. I want to allow myself to at least try to make my dream a reality.

This dream is to spend my time being creative, and hopefully turn that creativity into something lucrative enough to make it my full time job. I love writing. I love photography. I love making jewelry. I love food. I love fashion. I can’t stop thinking about how awesome it would be to follow  my passions rather than to have a traditional desk job in an office.

My plan is to let my passions run wild on this blog, and see where they take me. I want to share my adventures in my new city and hopefully inspire others to unleash their own passions, and ignore their fears. I invite you to join me on my journey, so follow along and I hope you enjoy!